


Time Is Quite A Killer When You’re Left Behind

by outoftheashes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Character Death, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester UST, Depression, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, Episode: s02e21 All Hell Breaks Loose, Episode: s11e18 Hell's Angel, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Horny Sam, Implied Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Multi, Teen Sam, Temporary Character Death, Temporary Character Death - Winchesters, Time Skips, Time Travel, Young Winchesters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 14:44:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12134715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outoftheashes/pseuds/outoftheashes
Summary: Sam and Dean are thrown into the Empty. Cas deals the only way he knows how.





	Time Is Quite A Killer When You’re Left Behind

**Author's Note:**

> Contains dialogue from various SPN episodes but I also screw with canon quite a bit for some awesome self-indulgence. Thanks to Maya and Rose for the cheerleading and ideas!

 

“Is this the Winchesters kitchen?”

“Sort of. I come here in my mind to pass the time. For some reason, it has excellent reception.”

For a few moments, it’s so quiet Cas wonders if the demon left - he doesn’t bother to turn around and check. He continues watching his program instead.

Crowley comes closer and Cas tenses up but still keeps his eyes on the TV. “What’s wrong with you? What has Lucifer done to you?”

“Well, he mostly leaves me alone. I’m just waiting here, you know, for the battle with the Darkness.”

“Sam and Dean are dead. We need your help to put Lucifer back in the Cage where he belongs. Expel him!”

Cas can’t breathe. He snaps his gaze away from the TV, staring hard at Crowley. “You’re lying. They can’t be dead.”

He’s held Dean’s soul in his hands. He’s pulled Sam out of the Cage - although, granted, not all of him.

He’d _feel_ it. There would be some indication, some red flag -

He’d _know._

Crowley moves closer still, agitated. “They are. Unfortunately. Now we’re left to clean up this mess without their help. _You_ could help, though. _You_ could help _a lot_ if you bloody well tried!”

"How did it happen? How can I even _trust you?”_

It doesn’t compute. It doesn’t make sense at all.

“Do you really think I’d waste my breath if it wasn’t true? They’re _dead_! Sam was killed during a hunt - werewolves, I believe they were after werewolves. It shouldn’t have been a problem, but it was. Sam was murdered and Dean allegedly killed himself shortly after.”

“A-allegedly?”

Crowley rubs a hand over his face and takes a breath before continuing. “ _I_ believe Dean was trying to communicate with Billie. I believe he was trying to talk her into letting Sam live. But it didn’t work - both of them were thrown into the Empty. We can’t get them back.”

“No…”

“I can tell you they wouldn’t want to see you like this. Dean would want you to expel Lucifer. And Sam knew what you must be going through - he’s no stranger to being possessed. It’s not good, is it? Lucifer’s really got his hooks in you. Cast him out! Expel him before _we all_ die!”

Lucifer appears.

“Really, Crowley? You want to put me back in the cage? Well, I’m not going anywhere…” he picks the demon up and throws him against the nearest wall. “And neither are you.”

“Castiel!” Crowley says loudly, fear creeping into his voice. “Please!”

Cas is up and punching Lucifer in the face before he even knows what he's doing. “Stop it,” Castiel yells, continuing to punch the angel while he laughs, spitting blood out of his mouth and staining his lips a horrific red. “Get the hell out of my body. Get out _now_!”

It's anti-climatic how fast Lucifer and Crowley are gone and Cas belongs to himself again. There's a dark part of him that wants to hit Lucifer until he's unrecognizable - and now he can't. 

Lucifer, now in smoke form, doesn't get far because the Darkness explodes through the doors, zeroing in on him as soon as she fully enters the abandoned church covered in sigils.

“Lucifer. You may be of some use to me,” Amara says. “I'm hungry.”

Amara consumes every last bit of Lucifer's grace, her open mouth a terrifying sight.

It’s no surprise that Crowley enjoys the show more than the rest of them. “He made me clean the floors with my tongue. Now we’re even.”

Rowena seems caught between rolling her eyes at her son and being genuinely frightened at what they’re witnessing.

Cas wants to lay down and stop existing for awhile but it's not safe to do so just yet. His primary goal should be putting some space between himself in the Darkness.

“Lucifer may have been the one thing in all of creation that God still cares about – and now he's gone. Let's see him avoid me now.”

 

* * *

 

 

The world is ending – or so Cas hears – but he can't quite make himself care.

Instead, he is holed up in the Bunker binge-watching Netflix in Sam's room – the real one, not the one in his head – adorned in one of Sam's well-worn white shirts, plaid and a pair of Dean's jeans. He keeps calling their phones so he can memorize their voicemail messages. Their voices make him ache and cry all over again every time he listens. But he can't stop. Not until he's forced to because their accounts have been terminated.

He curls up in their beds, rolling up in their blankets til he feels like a burrito. If he still enjoyed pb&js he'd eat an unfathomable amount. But they still only taste like molecules and are all around unfulfilling compared to when he was human so he continues to mope and watch TV instead.

Sometimes he tries to touch his cock but it never feels right. He used to masturbate one to two times a week - if not more - when the boys were alive, his traitorous thoughts including one or both brothers getting rimmed by Cas or taking his cock. Sometimes he likes to try and blame it on all that pizza man porn, that he just has a wild imagination, but deep down he knows what it means.

The days bleed together. It could be weeks since he's learned of Sam and Dean's death.

It could be months.

He doesn't have the energy or will to keep track.

One thing he does think about, though, is Balthazar. He thinks about when his brother traveled through time to unsink the Titanic and the ramifications that followed. So many ripple effects that could not have been predicted.

He thinks about _every_ known instance of time travel and how trying to change the past always ends in failure eventually.

So he really shouldn't be entertaining the thought of trying to save Sam and Dean. Deep down he knows it's futile.

 

* * *

 

 

He sends Claire a heads up – if anyone left alive deserves to know what he's up to, it's her – and then wills himself to Palo Alto, California in the year 2005.

Sam and Dean are in a physical fight. It seems as though Sam believes Dean is an intruder with the pushes and kicks he's trying to land on Dean’s body. His suspicions are confirmed when Dean ends up pinning Sam to the ground.

“Woah, easy tiger.”

“Dean?” Sam gasps out.

Dean laughs and it's a beautiful sound. It feels like it's been _forever_ since he's heard it.

“You scared the crap out of me!”

“That's cause you're out of practice.”

And suddenly _Dean_ is the one on bottom.

Cas smiles. _Sam._ So young. So _dominant._

It's so... intimate. He's seen this before, he's seen them get this close. He has.

And yet. _And yet._

There's barely controlled lust in their eyes, they're breathing each other in and looking about ready to fuck. Yes. There is no doubt in his mind it's a slightly different flavor of brother-touching than he's used to seeing.

Cas should not be watching such a moment transpire. He certainly shouldn't be hard – but he is. He shouldn’t be trying to commit this moment to memory, but _oh._ How can he not?

After what seems like forever Dean tells Sam to get off of him and Sam is hauling his brother to his feet. They're still so close.

That is they are until the lights flicker on and Jessica enters the room wearing very short shorts and a top that leaves little to the imagination.

“Sam?”

“Jess. Hey. Dean, this is my girlfriend, Jessica.”

Dean is eyeing Jessica appreciatively and Cas can't say he blames him – but if the look on Sam's face is any indication he's not all that happy about it.

Cas chooses this moment to step in.

“And I'm Castiel,” he says, allowing himself to become visible to the human eye.

Jess screams. “Police! I'm gonna -”

Cas steps forward and touches her forehead which causes Jess to crumple, falling to the ground, unconscious.

“What the – Dean!”

“I gotcha, Sammy!”

Dean blasts Cas in the chest with what he guesses is rock salt and Cas makes a noise that’s somewhere between amusement and agony - the emotional kind, of course. Physically, it doesn’t do much.

“I'm not a ghost,” Cas says. “Put down your weapons. We need to talk.”

Sam stabs Cas in the back with a knife, twisting it.

Cas hisses and shakes his head. “Please, you don't understand. You know me from... from another time. I'm from the future and you two are my friends – Sam and Dean Winchester.”

“Huh. Looks like we got ourselves a monster stalker, Sammy.”

“A mentally unhinged one,” Sam agrees softly.

“What kind of monster _are_ you?” Dean demands, his eyes full of unfriendliness.

“I'm an angel of the Lord,” Castiel says, turning around to face Sam. “Please. I know you're a man of prayer, Sam. Don't you believe in angels?”

“Oh, come off it. Angels aren't real,” Dean spits, his hands clenching into fists. “You must be some kind of high-powered demon.”

Cas rolls his eyes, torn between wanting to kiss Dean stupid and calling him an idiot.

It was gonna be a long night.

* * *

 

 

“Take me to Brady – or call him over here,” Castiel demands after they pull the knife out of his back.

Sam frowns. “Why?”

“Because he's going to kill Jess if you go on that hunting trip with Dean. Brady will burn her on the ceiling and it'll haunt you for the rest of your life.”

“How did you know that? I haven't even told Sam yet. I haven't told _anyone._ How -”

“I already told you. I'm an angel. Stop worrying about the damn hunting trip and start worrying about Jess. Don't go to Jericho. Or, if you do, _at least_ let me kill Brady first. He has to go.”

“You're really an angel?” Sam asks, a bit of awe creeping into his voice and face.

“Yes, Sam.” Cas reaches out to stroke Sam's cheek, giving him a fond look. “I am.”

“Don't you have better things to do than -”

Cas whirls around to face Dean. “We lived together! The three of us... we lived together.”

“Then why aren't you there with us now?” Dean shoots back.

“Because you _die._ Both of you! You died and I couldn't stop it. I failed. Now I'm trying to fix it and you're making it _very_ difficult. Do you want Brady taken care of or not?”

 

* * *

 

 

It ends up not mattering that Sam lures Brady over and Cas smites him before the demon knew what hit him. Less than a month later Jess is run over. She was on the sidewalk. There was no reason she should have been hit by some idiot driver with a suspended license - but she was.

And Cas can’t help but feel it’s his fault.

Sam, grief-stricken by Jess’s death but also incredibly angry, vows to get back into hunting with Dean so they can find John. Despite the falling out Sam had had with his father he seems unwilling to see Cas’s side, he doesn’t want to hear that for the time being, at least, John Winchester is alive and well. Neither of them wants to stay with Cas. Hell, they’re eager to get _away_ from him.

Before they’re about to drive off Sam gets out of the car and pulls Cas aside so they can talk. Dean leans against the Impala, unable to hear them but his eyes never waver from them.

“I bet you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve traveled through time, hoping this would be the last stop you’d have to make and we’d do whatever you wanted.”

Cas blinks in shock. “What do you mean?”

“How many times have you tried to get us to stay safe with you?”

Cas is too dumbfounded to lie.

“This is the first time. I swear it.”

Sam surges forward, breath ghosting along Cas’s mouth in a way that feels like a kiss but _isn’t_. “Stop.”

Cas stiffens, at first unsure what Sam’s referring to because he’s too damn distracted by the younger Winchester’s sinful mouth. “No.”

“Stop trying to save us! Live your life. Find something that makes you happy,” the younger Winchester says, not moving out of his space.

“A typical Sam Winchester response. But I’ve lived hundreds of lifetimes. I have a new purpose and it’s making sure I don’t lose you - either of you.”

“Yeah, but at what cost?”

Cas shrugs. He knows the cost may be great but right now he doesn’t care.

“I can’t let you go. I can’t.”

* * *

 

 

“You need to come with me,” he says as calmly as he can, sitting next to a teen Sam in the uncomfortable booth at Denny’s. “Both of you. I must save you -”

“Oh, yeah you should,” Sam agrees - except then he’s pressing close to Cas and there’s a look in his eye that makes Cas squirm and swallow thickly. He may have picked the wrong place to sit.

Dean looks at Cas like he’s a serial killer about to stuff them in a white van with darkly tinted windows.

Father help him, if he thought they looked young and innocent before, they’re practically babies now.

“Uh, look. Buddy… my brother is sixteen. I’m not even old enough to legally drink. Not interested in you, dude. No offense, but I’m kinda out of your league -”

“Stop being a jerk!” Sam hisses at Dean.

Cas frowns. “What are you talking about?”

“If you’re lookin’ for a fuck you’re _really_ barking up the wrong tree, pal,” Dean says, glaring at him. “Fuck off.”

Cas chokes. “I’m not - I was _not_ looking for a _fuck_.” The word sounds incredibly filthy on his tongue.

“Okay… so. You’re crazy?” Dean asks but he says it like it must be true. “Have a nice day!”

“No! I’m not that either,” Cas says, squinting at Dean and unable to hold back the slightest twinge of annoyance. Which causes guilt to slam into him because in _present_ day this beautiful boy is dead.

“Oh, but you’re _something_ all right.” Cas scoots further away from Sam when the boy tries to put one of his hands high up on Cas’s thigh. “Dean might not be interested - but _I_ am. You should see my dick. It’s really big.”

“No,” Cas commands, grabbing Sam’s hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Sam, what happened to you? Why are you like this?”

“Okay, pervert, you better let my brother fucking go right this second, for one. For _two_ \- how did you know his name?” Dean asks. As young as he is his eyes flash with violence, showing that even now he will do anything to protect Sam.

It would be hot if he were older than twenty. To Cas, Dean isn’t much better than a child himself. Certainly compared with the Dean Winchester _he_ knows

Cas does his best to swallow a lump in his throat. “I’ve made a mistake.”

“Damn fuckin’ right you have. Get your ass out of my sight -”

“No, don’t go -”

“Sam, I swear to God if you are gonna try to follow him I’m telling Dad -”

Cas disappears in front of their very eyes, making his way through time once again.

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel finds Dean in Cold Oak, South Dakota, his palm covered in blood. Sam’s eyes are closed, his whole body slumping forward and Dean is chanting ‘no’ over and over again, the occasional ‘oh God’ thrown in there for good measure as he strokes his fingers through Sam’s hair. There are tears flowing freely down Dean’s cheeks as he rocks Sam’s lifeless body in his arms like Sam’s an over-sized baby.

“God won’t save him,” Castiel says as he kneels at Dean’s side. “But I can.”

Dean tries to speak but he only manages to choke on more sobs.

“Shh. Dean.” Cas leans his forehead against Dean’s face that’s damp with tears. Surprisingly, Dean doesn’t try to fight it. He’s probably too overcome with the agony of losing Sam. “I’ll bring him back to us.”

Dean’s breath hitches. “What’s the catch?”

Thank goodness he didn’t ask ‘who the fuck are you? How do you know my name?’ It’s refreshing but at the same time heartbreaking.

He wonders if what Dean feels for Sam is platonic, or if not,  how long it’s been there. It certainly inched its way up on Cas.

It’s cruel to say it now but the words fall out anyway. “Don’t hunt anymore. You don’t need to ever see me again if you don’t want to - but if you keep hunting you’ll die for good. And it’ll break me.”

Dean’s face screws up, angry and relieved all at once. “That’s it? That’s all it’ll take? A pinkie promise to drop hunting things that go bump in the night?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. We… we won’t hunt anymore. Save him! Save my brother now!”

Cas doesn’t believe Dean a hundred percent yet but he can’t handle seeing Sam bloody and broken a second longer.

“Come back to us, Sam,” Cas rasps, bending down to kiss the edge of Sam’s still-warm mouth.

Sam’s eyes snap open, gasping for breath, and gives them a beautifully dazed look. For the first time since his boys died Cas feels like maybe they’ve won.

 

**Author's Note:**

> http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/165013386300/time-travel-spncoldesthits-september-prompt


End file.
